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Question: Does anyone else have problems getting their kids to clean up after themselves? At what age can kids be expected to clean up a playroom of all their own stuff, spread around by themselves? My kids are 6 & 7 and I've been cleaning up alongside them now for YEARS, and now I'm trying to get them to do it by themselves. It usually doesn't happen without fighting between them and lots of anger on my part! I'm so frustrated and sick of having to clean up THEIR toys! I keep threatening to throw everything away: then it'd be real easy to clean up!!! Any suggestions? Advice? Encouragement? Does it ever become easier? Anyone have ideas of what kind of chores a 7 year old boy can do? |
Responses: A
7 year old can probably:
I think 7 year olds still like charts to put stickers
on too. I used those dishpans for all kinds of things like you
are doing - I built shelves in a closet one time and had all the clothing
in dishpans on the shelves - very easy to put clothing away - I still
hate drawers - Ben uses those stacking bins now. |
Our boys 7 & 8 can:
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When I encounter a recurring
problem like this I usually end up going back to square one. I
pick a calm time and ask my dd, "Why are we having this problem?"
I would say, "I think you should be picking up after yourself.
Do you think you should be cleaning up?" If she says yes then
we go on to discuss why she isn't...if it is no then we discuss why
she thinks that. Her logic always leads her to the right conclusion. |
You could have them race
the clock...sometimes that makes it more fun. Perhaps offer to
go to the park or library, watch a video, etc. if they beat the clock. |
My kids are 4, 6, and almost
8. Training them to clean up after themselves is really hard I
think, especially if either you are not organized by nature, or they
are not organized by nature: For my kids, it's easier if we make
sure they do clean up every day, and I have to be less concerned with
"exact" cleaning. If there are a few toys out of place, I don't
worry about it. Same with their rooms, which is mostly where my
kids have all their toys. If their clothes aren't hung "neatly"
then I don't worry about it. I try to focus on their effort rather
than their results; then as they have gotten older, I will demand a
little more. One thing that helped get them used to doing their
chores every day was to make up my own chore charts. I put each
chore on an index card (with a picture of the chore for the younger
ones) and punched a hole in each one. Then I hung 4 magnetic hooks
on the fridge, one for each child, and one extra. I had their
regular chores, like taking care of their clothes, making their beds,
etc. These I made 3 cards of and they each had one on their hook
each day. Other chores I only had one of, and the kids would alternate
doing them, like vacuuming the living room, or whatever. When
the chore was done, then they moved the card to the extra peg.
All their chores should be done by the end of the day. Most chores
can get done in the morning, but a few, like unloading the dishwasher
and setting the dinner table, are later in the day. This system
worked great for us; they learned that they didn't do chores because
they messed something up, but they did chores because that's what a
family does. They work together. I am very glad I started
this early with mine, it has made a huge difference. We don't
do the chore charts all the time now, but I will occasionally get them
back out to refresh their memory. The hardest part for me was
being consistent; it's something that I have to work at. Hope
this helps, and yes, with a little time, it does get better!!! |
A couple of ideas.
One is to put half of their toys away so that they only have access
to half of their toys. Every few weeks, switch some of them.
This way, the toys will seem new to them. At 5 and 6 too many
choice can seem overwhelming. |
I used to threaten to throw
their toys away and they never thought I would. So one day I threaten
and got a large trash bag and bagged all the toys that were on the floor.
I put them down in the basement for a couple days. (They thought
I trashed them). When we got them back out we sorted through and
got rid of the ones they really didn't miss. |
The old stand by around
here is "Berenstain Bears and Messy Room". First we read it and
then we do a major cleaning. Each night the kids (7 and almost
5) and us make sure the house is picked up. Before any bedtime
books are read, the kids have to have the toy room cleaned up.
Hubby and I take that time to make sure the living areas (living room,
kitchen, back porch) are picked up. After the play room
is picked up, they each get to pick 2 books to read. Now, if cleaning
the play room was a hassle (meaning I need to keep reminding them to
finish up) then they can only pick out one book each. Even if
they take forever and a day and either hubby or I have to help, then
they get one book but I pick it. |
My 2 boys are the same
ages as your kids. I have a number of smaller containers: buckets,
milk crates, that sort of thing. They have one for each type of
toy they have. Little cars and trucks go in one, blocks go in
another, train tracks go in another. I have also assigned them
each their own jobs in their room. Christopher (6) does the blocks,
bears, and books. Alex (almost 8) does the train tracks, roads
and cars. |
My 8 yob empties the dishwasher
about 3 times/week, cleans his room, helps his 3 siblings set/clean
off the table 6 nights a week, picks up toys in the living area, puts
away his own clean clothes, helps carry in groceries, empties the small
trash cans with dad & brother once or twice a week. |
I get a lot of "Why do
I have to do it?" from my 8yos with regard to assorted chores.
I guess his thinking is that if he is not directly responsible for the
clutter, he shouldn't have to pick it up. I explain how we are
a family, and we each do many things throughout the day for one another....I
don't cook meals, do laundry, wash dishes for just myself, but do HIS
laundry, HIS dishes, cook HIS food along with mine and everyone else's.
I think he is going through a time of stretching his independence, or
something.... |
You'll probably think I'm
no help, but as long as you can close the door, I say "don't sweat the
small stuff." I live with Bert and Ernie. bert is in his bedroom at
this moment, cleaning it, I didn't ask him to do it but he's always
had a neat streak and is a lot like me in that he likes organized things.
Ernie, however, did dishes alone this week, because more than half of
them came from her bedroom. She even carried out the trash because I
sneaked up on her and she didn't realize I had her cleaning right away.
She's fourteen. She tells me that I should not worry: when she goes
to camp, her cabin space is always the neatest & most organized
and her friends just throw their stuff around. I find this hard to believe
because I have seen the bedroom, the dried apple cores, the stacks of
laundry (what's clean?/what's dirty?) and more... I could nag (I tried),
I could allow it to build a wall of resentment between us, but what
I do is limit it to her bedroom. And occasionally, I brave the entry
and say something. Lately I've been cutting out cartoons (LuAnn was
a recent one and For Better or For Worse also featured a pigsty bedroom
recently) and posting them on the freezer (which is in her bedroom).
It gets the point across with a bit of humor. |
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